This Floating Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the television landscape of the recent year, a selection of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third series started, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the final season. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Still, fans certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this show's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the flaws. The laughably leaden dialogue? The tedious veneration of wealth and materialism? The almost deliberate procession of cliches? Acting so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the legal troubles, abuse claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have gleaned it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charismatic but flippant narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Dodgy figures convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were many other problems. Mainly that it was just really dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which felt a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee homemaking as intentional statements. But then you view them and are forced to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark platitudes and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to say them. Instead, the viewing was akin to consuming a sales catalogue. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.

Too Much

How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of famous cameos involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lumbering from oddly breezy, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a discovery that could destabilise society? No! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for sexual exploits as she prepared for her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.